Favorite romantic/sexual relationship (including asexual romantic relationships)
Phedre/Joscelin, Kushiel Series.
I would classify them as a romantic relationship between a sexual and asexual person. Yes, they make love, and yes, Joscelin enjoys it — but he’s still pretty asexual. You can be asexual and enjoy sex. It’s just…not necessary for life.
Sexual people (like Phedre, and the writer of this blog) need sex. It is a physical need. Phedre needs something a step further — she needs BDSM sex, because she’s an anguissette. (This is [part of] why she becomes Namaah’s Servant again in the second book, and why she continues to take patrons — only a few each year, but still — throughout most of the series.)
The two types can work out in a relationship, though it is difficult.* Phedre and Joscelin make it work, but not without difficulties (and a terrifying moment when you think they’re not going to make it). There is true, deep love and devotion in their relationship, however — the type of love that can only be forged under extreme hardship and duress (running for their lives in Skaldia, the millions of other things they go through). They are, for lack of a better term, “lovers in arms”, though neither one is in the military.
It is exactly the sort of relationship I cannot get enough of in literature and film (the type forged in duress/with undying devotion/etc, not necessarily the asexual nature of one or both of the parties, though that is awesome too).
*(Personally I’d never be able to make it work with an asexual person, but I’m a freak of nature with an abnormally high sex drive.)