(at the bus stop)
Me: I don’t want you to go. It is sad times when you go.
Him: You’ll be busy! Doing stuff. Won’t even notice I’m gone.
Me: NO. I WILL DO NOTHING BUT WATCH FUTURAMA AND DRINK WHISKEY.
Him: …instead of watching Futurama and drinking vodka?
Me: Totally different. Whiskey is sad drink. Vodka is happy drink.
Me: Ok, I lied. They’re both sad drinks. I AM A SAD PERSON.
Him: *hugs me, and then gets on the bus to leave me for a long sad time*