Recycling and Compost and How They’re Important, or something, not sure what the message is here, really


I would be more inclined to participate in my city’s compost and recycling curbside pickup programs if they made it easier.

I know, that sounds like so much White Whine, but consider:

    • There is no direct way from my yard to the front curb. All entry to my house is in the alleyway. So anything I want picked up at the curb I must walk all the way around. We have asked them if we can put stuff out at the end of the alleyway, which would just create one more pickup for them which is right next to another pickup, but they have refused our request. It would be too complicated! Another stop, right in between two current ones? MIND IS BLOWN.
    • The yellow recycling bags are the holy godsdamned grail and they get stolen pretty often — especially if you don’t get out there right away to grab the empty one, which I don’t, because long walk and spoons.
    • Also someone stole my green bin previously, and at another point in time someone stole the lid to our garbage can. I’m of the opinion that this keeps happening because the garbage dudes just fling these things friggin haphazardly into the ditch when they’re done instead of setting them down nicely in front of the house, like I do. This sends the message that these things do not belong to any one house, and therefore are free for the taking. Or I just live in a bad neighborhood no, it’s the city’s fault, I’m sure of it. Dear garbage-and-etc-people-of-undetermined-gender-but-I’m-assuming-you-are-dudebros-just-because: if you’re going to fling ’em about then fling them over my fence so I don’t have to walk three miles to retrieve them.Would that be so hard? Really?
    • The schedule is some sort of complicated vodou ritual and in order to understand it I must pay offerings to the lwa. Which on principle I have nothing against, being polytheist and fairly eclectic and free of white-lighter-fluff-bunny morality, but come on — three Irish deities and most of the Hellenic pantheon is all I can handle. Give a tired Witch a break here.

  • What the shit is this?

  • When they introduced “the green bin” the schedule got more complicated, and now borders on the ludicrous. It’s gone to plaid. I spent about half an hour today finding a new schedule online (because gremlins or dust bunnies or other fairly-benign but nonetheless annoying household creature took my paper one, that’s why) and then deciphering its arcane pictograms to figure out when I should put out my fucking garbage, which has been building up for a month now (with several bouts of Mega House Cleaning in there, so you can imagine). Garbage is no longer every week; it is now every two weeks. There are two families living in this house (I’m ‘a family’ because shut up). That’s never going to work. Kitchen waste is every week. The green bin is huge. It reaches my hips and I’m 5’10”. I could hide two kids and a cat in there. (If, you know, I needed to. Not that I ever have. coughs) It’s taken me a month to fill it 75% full. We were composting before they intro’d the green bin program because we have a compost bin in the backyard. Nothing has changed in our consumption levels. We are fairly eco-conscious people. Therefore, the problem lies not with us, but with the brains behind this city, who must be asleep at the switch.
  • Mind you, this city’s streets were designed by drunk monkeys, so whatchagonnado.
  • Seriously though. This summer, there is garbage pickup on July 27th. Then, because of holidays, there is no garbage pick-up until August 13th. That is over two weeks. Heavens forbid I throw any kind of party or anything before the 13th because my garbage can would explode. (Why would I be throwing parties in August, anyway? That’s a silly time for parties and certainly no one’s birthday.)

I would like to mention, as possibly a side but more likely a main point, that garbage pickup across the water, on the mainland, makes more sense and doesn’t change every gorram week. Every week there’s garbage, recycling, probably a green bin at this point because the GVRD is a haven for hippies, on a Tuesday I think in Delta. Been that way for 20 years. No change for holidays like we have here, where the whole schedule shakes like a Polaroid picture.

Massive useless greenbin acting as rose shelf. #garden #yesmyplantersayslove

In conclusion: I will continue to compost in the compost bin in the back yard, and will continue to recycle by leaving my recycling at Mom’s place when I visit. My green bin will continue to act as shelf for a pot of flowers or herbs right outside my door, which looks much nicer anyway.