Fifty Shades of Drinking is on hiatus until mid to late September

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Possibly October.

I mean, you guys probably figured that out already — I have a broken leg, therefore no drinking — but I figured I’d make an official announcement.

Theoretically, I could fake being drunk, but where’s the fun in it? And it would just feel wrong. You watch it for off the cuff super drunk Katje being angry and ranty. I can’t fake that genuine anger. It wouldn’t be right.

So until I am healed — which should be late August, meaning I might be ready to drink by mid-September, but we’ll see how it goes — FSOD is on hiatus. I’m very sorry, and trust me, I am not happy about skipping this. The book might make my brain bleed, but doing the series is actually fun and I was looking forward to this month’s episode!

Ah well. Can’t be helped.

However, I might be doing a regular vlog one of these days. Depends on if I can get some proper clothing on myself. I am open to topic suggestions! Leave yours in a comment below.

Until next time,

-Katje

Thoughts on Season 7, Episode 1 of True Blood

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Yes, I watch True Blood. Mr. Katje and I marathoned through several seasons and then got all caught up, and started catching episodes as they came out.

If you asked us why we’ve stuck with it we’d likely respond with “Stockholm Syndrome.” The show is like a trainwreck: awful, but you can’t tear your eyes away. At some point the only characters on the show we weren’t constantly wishing death upon were Lafayette, Eric, and Terry. (Other characters had their moments but these 3 were the only ones we consistently did not hate.)

All of the protagonists are stupid. The show is terribly written. They handle rape so awfully I should be surprised but sadly I am not. (Seriously, really really awful.)

And yet we keep coming back. We’re addicted to it, like one gets addicted to V.

So on that note, my thoughts on the first episode of the final (thank gods) season. There be spoilers and a lot of swearing ahead; mind yerself. (though if you haven’t seen it my thoughts might not make much sense, anyway.)

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Chapter 5 of Fifty Shades of Drinking is up!

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Prepare yourselves for vodka and amazing rainbow suspenders! Also I’m super angry about everything.

Don’t forget, you can play the Fifty Shades of Drinking drinking game if you want to join me in the liver-killing shenanigans!

If you enjoyed this outrageous spectacle, you can support my habit the series here at my Patreon page.

Exciting News!

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Well, I’m excited. And a little tipsy.

That’s right — I’m tipsy because I just filmed Chapter 5 of Fifty Shades of Drinking, everyone’s favourite “Katje gets drunk and angry” vlog!

Wooooo!

I’ll be editing tomorrow because that great writing advice from Hemingway whom I don’t really like as a writer but some of his quotes are damn awesome, anyway, that advice about writing drunk and editing sober holds so damn true for film, too. Not that a lot of people are filming drunk, so I guess it can’t be widely applied. But in this case, where I am playing a drinking game designed to kill you, it does.

EDIT: I just looked it up apparently the quote isn’t by Hemingway, it’s just attributed to him and is actually a paraphrasing of a quote by Peter De Vries, which now that I’ve read I actually quite like. But Hemingway did say “Fuck literature” so my above comment about liking some of his quotes holds true. Huzzah.

So, I’m editing tomorrow. Tonight I am going to cook dinner and drink a hell of a lot of water to offset the hell of a lot of vodka I consumed during filming. I’ll post the video here when it’s done.

-Katje

Fifty Shades of Drinking update

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I know, I know, I promised another episode early in the new year and I have not delivered. I am terribly sorry about that. However, life has been pretty insane since coming up here to visit my mom, and a few days ago I was put on a run of antibiotics to clear out the infection my wisdom teeth — so I can’t have any alcohol till that’s over, which will be the 23rd or so.

I will get an episode up by the end of the month, I swear. (Or, like, a few minutes after midnight on the first of February.)

Thanks so much for your patience and understanding, y’all, and rest assured I have not abandoned the project. I want to continue to rip apart the books while getting sloshed as much as you want to watch me do it.

Chapter Four has been filmed!

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AnaDoge

Anastasia Rose Steele.

And halfway edited. There are some issues with audio; editing is going twice as slow as a result. I have to take a break now to play video games and eat sugar, but I’ll be up in the morning and soldier on then.

Expecting to post tomorrow afternoon. My liver suffers for you.

(Actually it wasn’t so bad this chapter. Definitely one of the better ones. That, or my brain has started editing in a desperate attempt to protect me from alcohol poisoning.)

“He begins to shame, really shame….”

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Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey (Photo credit: ellebnere)

Last week the news broke that several public library copies of Fifty Shades of Grey were tested positive for trace amounts of herpes and cocaine. There isn’t even enough of the virus present in the books for anyone to contract it from touching them; just enough present for it to test positive.

This has inspired a large wave of ew, gross, herpes, and I guess it really IS a dirty book lol from not only the people reporting this news but, well, everyone else. So far most, if not all, of the reactions I’ve seen have had hefty doses of shaming thrown in.

I’ll admit, when I first heard it, I raised an eyebrow and thought I think I don’t want to know how those books got herpes.

But I dismissed that thought pretty quickly. The fact is, you don’t have to hump a book to give it herpes. Herpes simplex isn’t just an STI; it’s the same virus that gives you cold sores. Viral shedding can occur at any time, and in more areas than just the genitals. It may be asymptomatic. Fifty Shades of Grey getting herpes likely has little to do with the book’s content and more to do with how common herpes is and how popular the books are.

I am not an expert on herpes. I’m just someone who knows people who have it. I’m also someone who was researching STIs about 7 years before I was having sex. (Insert I’m sort of Ravenclaw even though I’m Slytherin joke here.)

The shaming reactions to this news have saddened me.

Having herpes or any other STI doesn’t make you a monster, or diseased, or dirty or unclean. It just means you contracted something. That something may have no cure as of yet (herpes, AIDS), or it may just need a trip to the doctor and a prescription to get it cleared up (syphilis). It may be easy to live with, or it may be hard. STIs are a part of life. Even, sometimes, for people who aren’t having sex. Contracting an  STI does not mean you are undeserving of love or basic human decency.

I hate Fifty Shades of Grey with an all-consuming passion, but I don’t condone the way people have been talking about this. Fifty Shades of Grey testing positive for herpes does not make it a terrible book (the fact that it’s a terrible book makes it a terrible book), and when you say it does you are indirectly saying that people who have herpes are terrible people.

Criticize Fifty Shades for its shoddy writing, for its depiction of an abusive relationship as romance, for its utter lack of plot or meaningful characterization, for its rape apologism, for its plagiarism, for its absolute lack of truthfulness in depicting BDSM and promoting of dangerous BDSM practices, for its message of “EWWWWW, POOR PEOPLE”. Those are all fair criticisms.

Criticizing the book because library copies happened to test positive for herpes is not fair, and has nothing to do with the book itself. Herpes was also found on Tango by Pieter Aspe, and yet you don’t hear people making shaming comments about that. Somehow, because Fifty Shades is about a subject many people find taboo, it’s fair game?

No. It’s not. Stop shaming folks who read erotica, period, and stop with the sex-negative, STI-shaming surrounding this news story. It’s boring. As boring as the sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Facebook hiatus, day bluh-blur-bluh

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A short way of saying “I don’t actually know how long it’s been; the days have blended together into one large party.”

I have come to loathe Facebook. It’s a black hole of negativity and every time I go on there, I feel miserable. So I decided to take a hiatus and I feel much better! I still feel like I should be on there; I still feel it calling me. But I’ve resisted, mostly, and I’m happier for it.

Not only have I been happier, but I’ve been much more productive. Instead of sitting around and watching TV and crying 24/7 I’ve only been doing it a few hours each day, and the rest of the time I’ve devoted to work.

Mom even helped me schedule a book launch for Stranger Skies! If you’re in Vancouver at the end of November, it’ll be Sunday, the 24th, at the Cottage Bistro from 4:30 to about 7. I’ll read from the book, we’ll have someone actually host the thing and ask me questions, I’ll have books for sale, I’ll do signings, if you give me beads I’ll flash you. Come down, party with me, it’ll be fun. When I’m not Hulking out about feminism and shit, I’m basically Iron Man/Tony Stark. Just as drunk, just as sexy. I can draw on the facial hair.

Still working on getting through Chapter 3 of Fifty Shades for the vlog, which I have decided to rename Fifty Shades of Drinking because it’s less of a mouthful than Fifty Shades Read-and-Drink Along. (Heh. Mouthful.) I think my brain is throwing up self-preservation things by preventing me from finishing the chapter (and, presumably, the rest of the book). I may actually have to get drunk to lower those shields and complete the first read-through. Watch as my brain tries to leave my skull via any orifice it can. Poor little thing.

Also, I’m tempted to write an erotic romance in response to Fifty Shades called One Shade of Meaningful Consent. Thoughts?