For the record I totally fail at homemade toothpaste


I tried one of those home toothpaste recipes that’s baking soda and clove oil and coconut oil. Because I figured it might work better than just swigging clove oil and whiskey in the hopes of relieving my wisdom teeth pain.

It didn’t. It was like brushing my teeth with salt. Which, by the way, will trigger an almost instant gag reflex, so that was fun.

It probably didn’t help that I didn’t follow the instructions correctly, because WUH’EVA, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

Exactly like this.

So now I’m sitting around in leopard print that doesn’t fit too well and swigging whiskey* in between drinking cranberry ginger ale. Which, by the way, is a terrible combination.

*But I am not drinking it; I’m spitting it out, because liver. Also, cheap whiskey; I don’t feel bad.