Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (but only marginally)

Early morning Coquitlam, B.C. skyline

This is Coquitlam. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My passport was found! My Uncle Neil found it in a collage box in the East Den (ie, the apartment in Coquitlam — my house is the West Den, and mom’s house is the North/Main Den — we name the houses in a way that makes sense to the wolf-dog okay). How it ended up there I can only surmise was my narcotics-and-concussion-addled brain going “OH THIS IS A SAFE PLACE FOR PASSPORTS THAT I’LL NEVER EVER FORGET” and urging me to put it there, where I promptly forgot it.

As it was found later in the afternoon on Wednesday, there came the dilemma of how to get it to me: the caravan is leaving at 6am on Thursday (about an hour from the time I’m writing this post), and the only way for me to get over to Coquitlam and back would make me late, meaning I would need to be driven by someone else. Gods know who.

Enter Boyfriend (Here he comes to SAVE the DAY traladatraladatralada)! He goes to East Den and picks up passport and then drives to ferry, catches passenger ferry, spends three hours showing me funny youtube videos Checkpoint/Zero Punctuation! episodes I’ve missed/doing his KoL turns, and then I take him to the ferry and he goes home.

I choose to share a conversation that occurred between us on the way to the ferry.

Me: Thank you so much for doing this. I really seriously appreciate it.

Him: It was a ridiculous clusterfuck.

Me: Agreed, but at least you got to spend three extra hours with me, which is…better than a poke in the eye with as sharp stick?

Him: ….

Me: Stop hesitating.

Him: How sharp is the stick? And can I sue for temporary blindness? Because if I can then we get money, and I spend longer than three hours with you because you have to nurse me back to health and that is better, because more time.

Me: Did you seriously just say that a poke in the eye with a sharp stick would be better than three hours with me?

Him: Well, situationally….

Me: You cannot apply situational ethics to every situation!

Him: Situational ethics are ALWAYS APPLICABLE.

Me: Just no.

Him: Well, it’s like if someone killed your mom right before she unleashed a virus that could kill everyone in the world.

Me: My mom isn’t science-y; that would never happen.

Him: Say it did.

Me: It wouldn’t; she’d never be able to figure out how to do a humanity-killing virus. She’s more likely do it by accid—oh I see your point.

Him: Right.

Then we reached the ferry terminal, I tried to do a Sith Mind Trick on his ass to leave his big bomber jacket so I could wear it for my trip (and failed), had a nice long good-bye kiss, and I drove home and watched the moon set behind a few clouds.

And that’s all she wrote, folks! I’m off to Spring Mysteries Fest, which I’ll blog about as Morag Spinner @ Innocence and Immanence sometime next week. After SMF it’s road-trip city, so I’ll only be posting as and when I have internet access.

Coming up:

  • Bellica becomes available on CreateSpace sometime next week, hopefully.
  • I bitch about the weather.
  • Blogging about San Francisco/my entire trip in general!
  • I ponder about why I keep on getting hygiene products as Klout perks. Maybe I talk about bathing a lot? Check.
  • Maybe a book review.
  • Some pictures or something.
  • I cry while listening to the LOTR soundtrack.

4 thoughts on “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (but only marginally)

  1. OK, the reason I read your post was the headline….which my Dad used to say all the time. I grew up in Toronto and have never heard anyone here (now in the US) use that expression. Nostalgia!


    • Katje

      It’s true — people in the US don’t use it as much as Canucks do! My mom says it all the time, and that’s where I got it. She was raised in Alberta, and I was raised partially in BC, partially the States. It’s a whole new language across the border.


  2. Neil

    Hey. Ah gots ta vote 4 it as eye invented the den designation Dude! Bon voyage mon petit. (Does that work here? Hm?)


    • Katje

      I approve of your designations! And once I figured it out it made sense, and I figured it would be best not to confuse Tyee too. 😉

      Mon grand? I think that works better.


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